#2 Ui! cansina dice... Si el mes de diciembre es a las listas sobre "lo más (ponga aquí su actividad favorita) del año" lo que el mes de septiembre es a las colecciones de kiosco.
Por cierto, #1 te has sobrado un poquito...
100: The Hottie & The Nottie "The most eagerly hated movie in America is a tongue-in-cheek homage to Paris Hilton that has drawn nothing but poisonous reviews. On IMDb it has been voted the worst film ever made" - James Christopher
99: Sex and the City "Everything great about the series has been lost in transition. The fizz has gone, the fun looks fake and the laughs are few" - Cosmo Landesman
98: The Incredible Hulk "Millions of dollars of computer software at their disposal and the best they can come up with is something that looks like angry Plasticine" - Wendy Ide
97: Wanted "A movie ruthlessly designed for an audience of comic nerds who suspect that they are destined for greater things" - Kevin Maher
96: My Blueberry Nights "Wong Kar Wai’s first English-language film, and I, for one, hope it will be his last. Something got lost in the translation: his talent" - Cosmo Landesman
95: Easy Virtue "A criminal waste of Colin Firth – arguably the most charming man in British cinema – in a role that requires him to shuffle around looking like an unmade bed" - Wendy Ide
94: Zack and Miri Make a Porno "Seth Rogen is an amiable and chubby clown, and quite possibly the most unconvincing romantic hero since Adam Sandler. The most soppy and unsexy 18-certificate skin-flick ever made" - James Christopher
93: Hannah Montana "Miley Cyrus hails from the Hilary Duff school of wholesome, squeaky-clean candy pop. She comes across as another (fake) blonde singing vacuous fluff, complete with pushy stage mom" - Saadeya Shamsuddin
92: The Oxford Murders "Imagine The Da Vinci Code remade by a philosophy student, set mostly in Oxford bedsits starring Elijah Wood in the Tom Hanks role, and featuring the world’s most unerotic sex scene" - Kevin Maher
91: Mister Lonely "Harmony Korine's bizarre film about a group of celebrity impersonators who hole up in a Scottish castle: gives The Cottage a respectable run for its money in terms of making no sense at all" - James Christopher
90: The X-Files: I Want to Believe "It’s just not very good; it’s an average episode of the TV series stretched to feature length" - Wendy Ide
89: Fine, Totally Fine "If you’re someone who can never have enough Hello Kitty merchandise, this might be just the film for you, but I would have found it hard to bear even without the winsome music that dribbles through every scene" - Edward Porter
88: The Good Night "While I hate to start chucking around charges of nepotism, I find it hard to believe Gwyneth Paltrow would have signed up were it not written and directed by her little brother" - Wendy Ide
87: Leatherheads "Oh dear. You have to love George Clooney or American football a lot to want to see this one" - Cosmo Landesman
86: The Bank Job "The realism here doesn't bear much scrutiny, unless the London of 1971 was populated exclusively by decent criminals, bent coppers, topless barmaids and sinister Whitehall toffs in S&M knocking shops" - Kevin Maher
85: Penelope "Christina Ricci dons a prosthetic pig's nose as a woman bearing the brunt of her family's curse. The curse can be broken only when Ricci sacks the agent advising her to take films like this" - Wendy Ide
84: Speed Racer "I can’t begin to describe how creepy this futuristic movie is. The famous actors look more plastic than the sets and the plot is a video game" - James Christopher
83: Cassandra's Dream "Ultimately, the accents are excruciating, the class observations simplistic (everyone is either posh or poor) and the sense of place muddled at best" - Kevin Maher
82: The Romance of Astrea and Celadon "Talky, tediously overlong and crammed with kitsch, postcard-pretty country scenery; culminates in a cross-dressing pseudo-lesbian clinch" - Wendy Ide
81: City of Ember "Looks like an early Heath Robinson experiment. The sets are held together by bits of string, and the costumes are supplied by Oxfam" - James Christopher
80: 10,000 BC "Don't expect Roland Emmerich's film to make much sense, historically, geographically or logically. This is an effects-driven action flick that happens to be wearing a leather loincloth and brandishing a spear" - Wendy Ide
79: Flawless "Demi Moore still boasts the best voice in the business (an alluring mix of sandpaper on granite, with a dash of honey), but as an actor she is here frequently upstaged by the magnificent foyer of the Grand Theatre in Luxembourg" - Kevin Maher
78: Taken "A corny, dumb and sentimental tale of revenge by a Superdad terminator who rampages through Paris, wasting bad guys" - Cosmo Landesman
77: Jumper "Samuel L. Jackson valiantly attempts to look menacing while wearing what looks like a white rubber bathing cap on his head" - Wendy Ide
76: The Chaser "In the latest scuzzy, violent thriller to reach us from South Korea, a cop turned pimp roams through the lower depths of Seoul in search of one of his prostitutes" - Edward Porter
75: Ghost Town "Ricky Gervais gets his first leading role in a Hollywood film, but the film’s premise is high-concept Hollywood at its creakiest" - Wendy Ide
74: Nights in Rodanthe "Shamelessly manipulative but too short and sketchy to provide a good wallow: has to make do with Diane Lane's sympathetic presence and Richard Gere's squinty emoting" - Tom Charity
73: Prom Night "Hoary horror devices are done to death: mirrors reveal the killer’s presence; terrified girls lose their clothes during chase scenes, then walk backwards into peril" - Wendy Ide
72: Vantage Point "Precisely halfway through a plot development of such absurdity causes the whole thing to go down with all hands." - Peter Whittle
71: 21 "Kevin Spacey blackjack movie that gets lost in confused moralising about the need for hard work and honesty while simultaneously celebrating the allure of Las Vegas and the quick, dishonest buck" - Kevin Maher
70: Diary of the Dead "The horror is toothily familiar. Amazingly, not one of the (living) characters has ever seen a zombie movie" - James Christopher
69: Pineapple Express "If you are 18 and always stoned out of your brain: seek help. Should you see this film, you will think it really funny, but then your brain is like scrambled egg. Come back Cheech and Chong, all is forgiven!" - Cosmo Landesman
68: Made of Honour "Call me old-fashioned if you will, but isn’t the point of a romantic comedy for the audience to fall in love a little bit – if not with the protagonists, then at least with the idea of their relationship?" - Wendy Ide
67: Brideshead Revisited "The melodrama is so damp and overwrought it’s hard to care about these old ghosts" - James Christopher
66: Forgetting Sarah Marshall "Russell Brand plays a louche rock star as to the manner born, but Judd Apatow's production is just forgettable" - Wendy Ide
65: Mirrors "A flat, ponderous and at times unintentionally funny horror. Yes, I know it’s meant to be some sort of comment on our narcissistic consumer society, but it’s not even scary" - Cosmo Landesman
64: Redbelt "David Mamet intends this to have the irony-free spirit of a Rocky film, but he comes close to the stuff of a frat-pack sports-movie parody" - Edward Porter
63: Get Smart "It’s probably inch perfect, but from this distance it looks like a rejected chapter from the Naked Gun franchise, and infinitely more wooden" - James Christopher
62: Death Defying Acts "There’s not a moment in the film that feels honest and uncontrived. Zeta-Jones looks more like a well-fed Persian cat than a starving music-hall artiste" - Wendy Ide
61: Freebird "A cast of D-list actors on a brief respite from the dole? Proof that there are few things more tedious than other people's drug experiences" - Wendy Ide
60: Steep "Combines awe-inspiring photography with some of the most inane drivel about life-changing experiences and profound bonds with Nature you’re ever likely to hear" - Wendy Ide
59: The House Bunny "Bimbo with heart of gold triumphs over snobbery and stereotypes - a standard teen-frat film, but from a female point of view. Frankly, this is one unfunny, vapid bunny I’d like to boil" - Cosmo Landesman
58: Priceless "Beneath its frothy and “comic” surface lies a cynical, smug and morally imbecilic film that thinks people who exchange sex for money and expensive clothes are rather cute and amusing" - Edward Porter
57: The Eye "The Sixth Sense twists are as remarkable as pasteurised cheese. The shrieking fright moments break every EU rule about decibel levels" - James Christopher
56: 27 Dresses "The latest romantic comedy which posits that a woman is somehow incomplete until she has a ring on her finger and a billowing meringue of a dress" - Wendy Ide
55: The Lost City "Andy Garcia’s preposterous vanity project is an all-singing, all-dancing version of the Cuban Revolution. But all is not well in Havana" - James Christopher
54: Back to Normandy "The interviews are mostly mundane affairs, there is the occasional whiff of the vanity project, and the running time, given the nature of the material, is inexcusable" - Peter Whittle
53: Flashbacks of a Fool "For a fool, the protagonist of Baillie Walsh’s film (played by Daniel Craig) is doing all right. A weirdly pointless film" - Edward Porter
52: Shutter "From the producers of The Grudge and The Ring comes The Camera – at least, that’s what this bland attempt at Asian horror should have been called" - Cosmo Landesman
51: Step Up 2 the Streets "If there is any mileage left in making films about troubled teenagers expressing themselves through hip-hop, there certainly isn't for doing it with the streams of clichés spouted in this sequel" - Louise Cohen
50: Dan In Real Life "I was trying to garrotte myself even before the characters started telling each other that “love isn’t a feeling, it’s an ability” - Edward Porter
49: Babylon AD "I have a soft spot for Vin Diesel, but it was sorely tested by this slapdash sci-fi effort, which, with its rather sudden ending, seems to have mislaid a who
#2 No sólo es una cansina lista sino que tiene verdaderas joyas metidas en la lista como si fueran bodrios como 10000 BC. Quien haya hecho esa lista -y me da igual que sean críticos, la mayoría no tiene ni idea- no tiene ni la más remota idea de cine.
Comentarios
Otra cansina lista de los top algo sobre cine.... y van...
#2 Ui! cansina dice... Si el mes de diciembre es a las listas sobre "lo más (ponga aquí su actividad favorita) del año" lo que el mes de septiembre es a las colecciones de kiosco.
Por cierto, #1 te has sobrado un poquito...
100: The Hottie & The Nottie "The most eagerly hated movie in America is a tongue-in-cheek homage to Paris Hilton that has drawn nothing but poisonous reviews. On IMDb it has been voted the worst film ever made" - James Christopher
99: Sex and the City "Everything great about the series has been lost in transition. The fizz has gone, the fun looks fake and the laughs are few" - Cosmo Landesman
98: The Incredible Hulk "Millions of dollars of computer software at their disposal and the best they can come up with is something that looks like angry Plasticine" - Wendy Ide
97: Wanted "A movie ruthlessly designed for an audience of comic nerds who suspect that they are destined for greater things" - Kevin Maher
96: My Blueberry Nights "Wong Kar Wai’s first English-language film, and I, for one, hope it will be his last. Something got lost in the translation: his talent" - Cosmo Landesman
95: Easy Virtue "A criminal waste of Colin Firth – arguably the most charming man in British cinema – in a role that requires him to shuffle around looking like an unmade bed" - Wendy Ide
94: Zack and Miri Make a Porno "Seth Rogen is an amiable and chubby clown, and quite possibly the most unconvincing romantic hero since Adam Sandler. The most soppy and unsexy 18-certificate skin-flick ever made" - James Christopher
93: Hannah Montana "Miley Cyrus hails from the Hilary Duff school of wholesome, squeaky-clean candy pop. She comes across as another (fake) blonde singing vacuous fluff, complete with pushy stage mom" - Saadeya Shamsuddin
92: The Oxford Murders "Imagine The Da Vinci Code remade by a philosophy student, set mostly in Oxford bedsits starring Elijah Wood in the Tom Hanks role, and featuring the world’s most unerotic sex scene" - Kevin Maher
91: Mister Lonely "Harmony Korine's bizarre film about a group of celebrity impersonators who hole up in a Scottish castle: gives The Cottage a respectable run for its money in terms of making no sense at all" - James Christopher
90: The X-Files: I Want to Believe "It’s just not very good; it’s an average episode of the TV series stretched to feature length" - Wendy Ide
89: Fine, Totally Fine "If you’re someone who can never have enough Hello Kitty merchandise, this might be just the film for you, but I would have found it hard to bear even without the winsome music that dribbles through every scene" - Edward Porter
88: The Good Night "While I hate to start chucking around charges of nepotism, I find it hard to believe Gwyneth Paltrow would have signed up were it not written and directed by her little brother" - Wendy Ide
87: Leatherheads "Oh dear. You have to love George Clooney or American football a lot to want to see this one" - Cosmo Landesman
86: The Bank Job "The realism here doesn't bear much scrutiny, unless the London of 1971 was populated exclusively by decent criminals, bent coppers, topless barmaids and sinister Whitehall toffs in S&M knocking shops" - Kevin Maher
85: Penelope "Christina Ricci dons a prosthetic pig's nose as a woman bearing the brunt of her family's curse. The curse can be broken only when Ricci sacks the agent advising her to take films like this" - Wendy Ide
84: Speed Racer "I can’t begin to describe how creepy this futuristic movie is. The famous actors look more plastic than the sets and the plot is a video game" - James Christopher
83: Cassandra's Dream "Ultimately, the accents are excruciating, the class observations simplistic (everyone is either posh or poor) and the sense of place muddled at best" - Kevin Maher
82: The Romance of Astrea and Celadon "Talky, tediously overlong and crammed with kitsch, postcard-pretty country scenery; culminates in a cross-dressing pseudo-lesbian clinch" - Wendy Ide
81: City of Ember "Looks like an early Heath Robinson experiment. The sets are held together by bits of string, and the costumes are supplied by Oxfam" - James Christopher
80: 10,000 BC "Don't expect Roland Emmerich's film to make much sense, historically, geographically or logically. This is an effects-driven action flick that happens to be wearing a leather loincloth and brandishing a spear" - Wendy Ide
79: Flawless "Demi Moore still boasts the best voice in the business (an alluring mix of sandpaper on granite, with a dash of honey), but as an actor she is here frequently upstaged by the magnificent foyer of the Grand Theatre in Luxembourg" - Kevin Maher
78: Taken "A corny, dumb and sentimental tale of revenge by a Superdad terminator who rampages through Paris, wasting bad guys" - Cosmo Landesman
77: Jumper "Samuel L. Jackson valiantly attempts to look menacing while wearing what looks like a white rubber bathing cap on his head" - Wendy Ide
76: The Chaser "In the latest scuzzy, violent thriller to reach us from South Korea, a cop turned pimp roams through the lower depths of Seoul in search of one of his prostitutes" - Edward Porter
75: Ghost Town "Ricky Gervais gets his first leading role in a Hollywood film, but the film’s premise is high-concept Hollywood at its creakiest" - Wendy Ide
74: Nights in Rodanthe "Shamelessly manipulative but too short and sketchy to provide a good wallow: has to make do with Diane Lane's sympathetic presence and Richard Gere's squinty emoting" - Tom Charity
73: Prom Night "Hoary horror devices are done to death: mirrors reveal the killer’s presence; terrified girls lose their clothes during chase scenes, then walk backwards into peril" - Wendy Ide
72: Vantage Point "Precisely halfway through a plot development of such absurdity causes the whole thing to go down with all hands." - Peter Whittle
71: 21 "Kevin Spacey blackjack movie that gets lost in confused moralising about the need for hard work and honesty while simultaneously celebrating the allure of Las Vegas and the quick, dishonest buck" - Kevin Maher
70: Diary of the Dead "The horror is toothily familiar. Amazingly, not one of the (living) characters has ever seen a zombie movie" - James Christopher
69: Pineapple Express "If you are 18 and always stoned out of your brain: seek help. Should you see this film, you will think it really funny, but then your brain is like scrambled egg. Come back Cheech and Chong, all is forgiven!" - Cosmo Landesman
68: Made of Honour "Call me old-fashioned if you will, but isn’t the point of a romantic comedy for the audience to fall in love a little bit – if not with the protagonists, then at least with the idea of their relationship?" - Wendy Ide
67: Brideshead Revisited "The melodrama is so damp and overwrought it’s hard to care about these old ghosts" - James Christopher
66: Forgetting Sarah Marshall "Russell Brand plays a louche rock star as to the manner born, but Judd Apatow's production is just forgettable" - Wendy Ide
65: Mirrors "A flat, ponderous and at times unintentionally funny horror. Yes, I know it’s meant to be some sort of comment on our narcissistic consumer society, but it’s not even scary" - Cosmo Landesman
64: Redbelt "David Mamet intends this to have the irony-free spirit of a Rocky film, but he comes close to the stuff of a frat-pack sports-movie parody" - Edward Porter
63: Get Smart "It’s probably inch perfect, but from this distance it looks like a rejected chapter from the Naked Gun franchise, and infinitely more wooden" - James Christopher
62: Death Defying Acts "There’s not a moment in the film that feels honest and uncontrived. Zeta-Jones looks more like a well-fed Persian cat than a starving music-hall artiste" - Wendy Ide
61: Freebird "A cast of D-list actors on a brief respite from the dole? Proof that there are few things more tedious than other people's drug experiences" - Wendy Ide
60: Steep "Combines awe-inspiring photography with some of the most inane drivel about life-changing experiences and profound bonds with Nature you’re ever likely to hear" - Wendy Ide
59: The House Bunny "Bimbo with heart of gold triumphs over snobbery and stereotypes - a standard teen-frat film, but from a female point of view. Frankly, this is one unfunny, vapid bunny I’d like to boil" - Cosmo Landesman
58: Priceless "Beneath its frothy and “comic” surface lies a cynical, smug and morally imbecilic film that thinks people who exchange sex for money and expensive clothes are rather cute and amusing" - Edward Porter
57: The Eye "The Sixth Sense twists are as remarkable as pasteurised cheese. The shrieking fright moments break every EU rule about decibel levels" - James Christopher
56: 27 Dresses "The latest romantic comedy which posits that a woman is somehow incomplete until she has a ring on her finger and a billowing meringue of a dress" - Wendy Ide
55: The Lost City "Andy Garcia’s preposterous vanity project is an all-singing, all-dancing version of the Cuban Revolution. But all is not well in Havana" - James Christopher
54: Back to Normandy "The interviews are mostly mundane affairs, there is the occasional whiff of the vanity project, and the running time, given the nature of the material, is inexcusable" - Peter Whittle
53: Flashbacks of a Fool "For a fool, the protagonist of Baillie Walsh’s film (played by Daniel Craig) is doing all right. A weirdly pointless film" - Edward Porter
52: Shutter "From the producers of The Grudge and The Ring comes The Camera – at least, that’s what this bland attempt at Asian horror should have been called" - Cosmo Landesman
51: Step Up 2 the Streets "If there is any mileage left in making films about troubled teenagers expressing themselves through hip-hop, there certainly isn't for doing it with the streams of clichés spouted in this sequel" - Louise Cohen
50: Dan In Real Life "I was trying to garrotte myself even before the characters started telling each other that “love isn’t a feeling, it’s an ability” - Edward Porter
49: Babylon AD "I have a soft spot for Vin Diesel, but it was sorely tested by this slapdash sci-fi effort, which, with its rather sudden ending, seems to have mislaid a who
#2 No sólo es una cansina lista sino que tiene verdaderas joyas metidas en la lista como si fueran bodrios como 10000 BC. Quien haya hecho esa lista -y me da igual que sean críticos, la mayoría no tiene ni idea- no tiene ni la más remota idea de cine.